Happy Birthday To Me

Today I turn 53. Normally I’m not all that celebratory about my birthday, but this one feels different. Part of the reason for my past non-enthusiasm was because I was born in the middle of summer so my birthday was never observed during the school year the way other kids’ birthdays were. This lack of acknowledgement about my entry into the world almost gave me the feeling that I didn’t exist in reality, like an apparition who appeared out of nowhere and landed in south San Jose (fortunately my birthday was recognized by my family so it wasn’t a total loss). But now it feels like I’m entering a new, uncharted phase of my life that may go into an unprecedented direction. Time will tell.

Another reason for my lack of birthday enthusiasm is the being the center of attention at a party or some other kind of celebration. Sometimes I do like to be the center of attention when it’s because of something I accomplished, but the accident of birth doesn’t seem to stir within me the same need to be noticed. I also suspected that any kind of birthday celebration, especially a big one, would be a kind of last hurrah and signal the coming end of my existence.

Which brings me to this birthday. 53 sounded ancient to my younger self, but now that I’m here I realize I don’t feel all that old. The graying hair and need for reading glasses are the main noticeable signs of my advancing age, otherwise I don’t feel much older than I did in my 20s. No major health problems, and I walk or bicycle everywhere around town. Also there’s a lot of work for me that still needs to be done which invigorates me with a sense of purpose so now isn’t the time to give into any feelings of decline. According to an old proverb a journey of a thousand miles begins with one step, and as long as I savor every moment of this journey whether big or small, I will continue to lead an aware life of expanded consciousness that leads to a fuller, richer, and longer time on Earth.

And that is something worth celebrating.